The Secret Service doesn't actually have a specific plan in place for what they would do if a large scaly orange blob of pus and bullshit named Donald Trump refused to vacate the premises Jan. Which brings us to some reporting in the Daily Beast that is more comforting. (Allegedly!)īecause Trump literally actually still thinks there's a tinker's damn of a snowball's chance in hell that he might still be president come the afternoon of Jan. ![]() Therefore, Stephen Miller, you may leave das butt Führer where it is for now. (They typically leave the day before the inaugural.) (He is very mad these days, we hear.) Now a new memo has been sent to the same White House staffers, saying "please disregard" and "updated information will be shared in the coming days." So we guess the staffers now have to pretend they're not leaving Jan. 4, we guess Fuckface in the Oval got wind of it and got angry because of all the disloyalty. Where they had been told they "will start departing" on Jan. (More on that in a sec.)īut then we refreshed the page and Politico had changed its headline, to "Trump White House staffers receive conflicting messages about their departure." Oh, for Christ's sake. Even if he has to be physically carried out of there by Secret Service. Despite all the insanity, reassurance that yes, Trump is leaving. The existence of that memo made us feel good. ![]() It may not have been worded exactly like that, but you get the idea, and you also get the mental image of Stephen Miller's bald head running across the White House lawn concealed-carrying a Hitler-headed dildo because he doesn't want any of the other Trump staffers to take it from him. (ALLEGEDLY!)Īlso if any staffers happened to accidentally take home the Bin Laden server that has all the evidence of Trump's traitor calls with foreign leaders, you need to BRING IT BACK. 4, please start going through your desks, clean your microwaves and mini-fridges, return shit you have stolen from White House back to White House, and for the love of Christ, put all your Hitler-headed dildos in some bubble wrap and TAKE THEM HOME, STEPHEN MILLER. A memo had gone out from the White House Management Office to people who work in the Executive Office of the President, instructing them to, starting Jan. Politico had some reporting this morning that should have been comforting.
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